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12 December 2007
Watts and Waggs
This serial is a consequence of Joe Watt's and Wayne Jones (Waggs) both breaking their noses in the Trinant match.
With the Chepstow game called off Waggs seized the opportunity to confront the committee as to why Joe had received preferential treatment over him. Waggs complaint is that Joe has had a cosmetic makeover to straighten his nose and was given three weeks off by John Helmore. All he got was Cotton wool stuffed up his by Phil Harvey and told to "get back on you tart" in a very harsh voice which he is not used to.
Club Chairman, Mr Kenneth 'Black Belt' Thomas explained that the committee felt obligated to send Joe to the eminent plastic surgeon Dr Snowt because of his blossoming modelling career. Waggs retort was "What fl..p..g modelling career?" I don't think page three in the Christmas Edition of the Big Issue constitutes a modelling career. Especially as he is dressed as Father Christmas and has a full white beard. In any case the rest of the team have told me they think that my nose is prettier than his without surgery.
This enraged Watts who sprung to his feet, and after striking a very good pose. Which got a round of applause and a few wolf whistles from his team mates verbally attacked Waggs. He said he no longer wanted him to be Rudolf in the photo shoot and he was never going to pass him the ball again.
The Chairman then intervened saying all real rugby players should have broken noses "like what they did in my day". Gwyn (Rhino ) Williams seconded the motion and volunteered to do the breaking. He said he would begin with players names starting with A and work through the alphabet. Proceedings were then held up as Ashley Reed had fainted. Joe rushed to Ashleys side saying that the young up and coming star had also just signed up to the same modelling agency. A great deal of serious discussion then took place between the players as to who was going to win America's Next Top Model. Team manager Ian 'Jaffa' Jones was then seen leaving the meeting with his shoulders drooping, head in hands muttering "I DON'T BELIEVE IT", what have I done to deserve this. The club secretary Lawson Short then woke up the chairman to end the meeting. To be continued!!!
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